Well, anyway, as the tour continued, we left for Pusan. On the way, we stopped in Kyongju and at Sorakson. Meanwhile, the kind social worker who felt sorry for me located my birth mother. Apparently, my mother, father, and 3 sisters took a night train to Seoul. Our paths completely crossed.
While I was on the bus going south, my birth mother must have been having a nervous breakdown. She had kept my birth a secret for 18 years. Back then, my birth parents were very poor. They already had two girls. I was the third. When my birth mother was pregnant with me, my father left for sea because he was a fisherman. During his absence, my birth mother fell into a depression and her disillusionment led to my adoption. When my father returned, she told him that I had died at birth. Feeling so sad that my mother had suffered alone, my father consoled her. Right away she got pregnant again and had my younger sister, Yeoun Jung in January of 1981. So when she got a call from the social worker, that was when she told her secret.
Meanwhile, I am having a great time looking at the mountains and doing all of the touristy things. One day, Holly Hall and Um Duk Kyung (social workers for Dillon and the tour leaders) took me aside and told me that Holt had located my birth family. I was so surprised! I couldn't believe it was happening to me. Immediately I called my parents,and they were so emotional. My parents wanted to go to Korea, but since it was so expensive, they didn't. I know that if we knew ahead of time that I would be meeting my birth family, they would've tried to come. I was so scared and nervous, and I remember being upset because I hadn't brought a nice set of clothes while we were in the south! I remember wanting to buy a nice dress for the meeting.
Well, a day passed. I believe it was the night we stayed in the Hotel Hyundai in Kyongju. Duk Kyung and Holly took me aside again. This time they told me that I had a younger sister and my birth father had no idea that I had been born. Gulp. I think they were prepared for me to be really upset because my birth parents kept her, but really I was pretty okay with it. I was actually surprised that I wasn't bitter myself, I just couldn't look at meeting my birth family in a bad light.
So, anyway, we eventually made it to Pusan. I left the group after we toured the Pusan Tower. Duk Kyung, a rep from Holt, and myself drove to the Chosun Beach Hotel in Pusan. There, I waited in a private room for my birth family's arrival. I was left alone to think. Well, after waiting about 20 minutes, the door opened and my birth mother flew in, practically tackling me. I didn't even get to see her face. She was crying hysterically (I was too), and then I could see with my peripherals that the rest of my family came in, too. Eventually we started talking (Duk Kyung) was my translator. We spent the next two days hanging out and getting to know each other the best we could. My sisters were an absolute blast. I really bonded with them before I left. The whole thing was just surreal. I couldn't really get a grasp for what was going on.
Anyway, the group flew back to Seoul, and we would stay at Eastern for a couple of more nights. My birth family was going to take the train to Seoul to see me off.
I remember that day being so emotional. The group was taking back two babies to their new homes in America. The foster mothers were crying because they were going to miss them. The director, Dr. Kim, was praying over them and us for a safe flight. Other birth families were there to see the adoptees off as we were on the bus. So many people were crying.
At the airport, I was okay, and everybody else seemed to be okay, too. I think people were excited to go home, and hand off the babies to their new famiies. When it came time to leave, though, I broke down. I was so weirded out by the whole meeting, but yet I wanted to stay and get to know them. I wanted to be with them. I think I bawled for at least 3 hours.
When I got home, I was exhausted. My parents were ready to have me home. I think that going to Korea reminded me and my parents how much we meant to each other. I was so grateful to be back in a familiar setting with people I loved.
Ironically enough, I had already enrolled for my classes at the University of Kansas. I signed up for Korean language 104. Now I really had a reason to learn it!
Now I can speak and read a little Korean. Not a lot, but it's getting better. I went to Korea again this past summer with Dillon, only this time I was more like a facilitator because Holly Hall was having some pregnancy issues. After the tour, i spent a week with my birth family. This time it was a little different for me. I spent more time with them, met my aunts, cousins, uncles, and second cousins. it was very overwhelming. I am still dealing with my visit this last summer.
Also, something interesting. Last January, I found out that my biological mother's sister lives in San Leandro. She wants me to come and visit her this winter break. It is nice because she speaks English and can convey messages to my birth family. The whole situation to me seems like a movie plot or something.
Anyway, i just celebrated my 21st birthday. yay, and already my birth family has sent me a care package. My sisters and I email each other the best we can. The language barrier is the most frustrating thing. I think that is why we don't speak to each other on the phone that much, plus it is expensive. We speak at least once a month, I'd say. I have really gotten used to them for the most part, my parents in America as well as my grandma, aunts, uncles, etc have, too. And it's kind of cool to say "I have three sisters who don't speak any English" when we have to do those lame introductions in class and say something interesting about ourselves.
|
