Susan Jester
Well... let's see. A lot has happened since the filming of Family Fundamentals. I, personally, went though a very difficult time emotionally from the filming forward about a year. At the time the film was made, I had also just moved out and ended an almost 9 year "marriage." So I think my first reaction to the outtakes that I saw of my parents just brought up a lot of pain and old feelings of anger. I was also really shocked and disgusted by my parents' incredible arrogance and intolerance. Secondarily, it broke my heart to see how hurtful and painful the reality of his grandmother's beliefs was to my son. The film put some distance between David and his grandmother, certainly brought even more distance between she and I, and ultimately brought David and I closer together.
Now here we are 2 years later, my stepfather, Paul, was almost at death's door, and my mom actually, I think, learned how much she had hurt David and me. Somewhere in all this she decided that the relationship with her family was a little more important than espousing her beliefs, and she has softened up considerably. Paul also has softened. On my last trip out West, he actually asked me for the first time in 20 years how and who was in my personal life and expressed his sincere desire that I would meet and find someone to share my life with. David sees his grandmother more often of course than I do since they are near each other, but he visits less frequently, and spends less time when he is there. For a while, I almost regretted making the film, because of what it did to their relationship, and the personal pain I felt at watching my entire life go by on the giant screen. I guess the reality is that the truth simply was spoken in the film, and everyone's true feelings came out of the closet. And that's ultimately a healthy thing.
Since 9/11, my thoughts about life and relationships have certainly become more focused. I live 2 miles up the Hudson River from the World Trade Center, and as ashes, smoke and the sounds of terror rained down upon my house for a week, I had time to think about what is really important to me in life. I am glad that we participated in the film and I hope that my message makes a difference to those who see it... and that is, that as a gay/lesbian person, your spirituality and your personal relationship with whatever higher power you believe in does not depend on what your parents or your church thinks about you. The whole message of the New Testament, as I understand it, is one of hope, the promise that each one of us are important to God and that we can have that personal relationship with Him/Her simply based on our desire to have it. There are no God police in the Bible and the gift of God's love is a one-on-one relationship. No one else can give it or take it away from you.
I am looking forward to my 60th birthday in December and still happily living in sunny Edgewater, New Jersey with Luna and our new family member, a cat.